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This is the second part of our series on “Breaking Free Of A Salaried Existence - Being Your Own Boss” :
They say we humans have only tapped into 10-20% of our brains true capabilities. If that’s the case, then imagine the possibilities if we were to truly use our brains at full power! So if we’ve only managed to use 10% of our brain’s power, why is it that some of us feel so trapped in our circumstances in life? Why is it that we stay rooted to our seats in the office, not daring to venture out of our cubicle to take on more responsibility? Why do so many people hold on to their jobs in a company that’s clearly in financial trouble, preferring to play a ‘wait and see game’ instead of looking for a new (and possibly better) job?
It’s all about our minds. The reason many of us stay put in our dead-end jobs and remain in our salaried existence is a mish-mash of reasons, fears, insecurities put up by our minds. Our fear of the unknown is a safely mechanism that isn’t supposed to be a bad thing. This fear of the unknown keeps us safe. It helps to stop us from doing stupid things because we don’t know what the outcome will be. It makes us check ourselves when we’re on the brink of taking risks.
The problem is, we let our minds (and imagination) get the better of us. When we fail miserable at something, the experience can be an all consuming fear that shrouds our dreams from that day on. Our own experiences growing up as a child also adds to our fear or confidence in dealing with the unknown.
I grew up without a Dad. Without the safety net that only a Dad can provide, making decisions were a tough thing for me. I had only myself to depend on if I screwed things up. So I always played safe and stayed on the straight and narrow. That kept me safe all right, but in this world of twists and turns, that never prepared me for the many times that I would fall. When I was unemployed in my mid twenties, my whole world crashed around me. I had no source of income, no one to depend on, no hope. It was also the time we went through an economic recession. It was tough but somehow, I managed to get another job. Ten years later, the same cycle repeated itself. The company I worked for was in financial trouble. I knew what was coming. The signs were ALL there, but I was rooted to my job. I could NOT even bring myself to update my resume. I was willing to sink with the ship rather than to face my fear of the unknown. To me, starting over in another job at the age of 35 was terrifying. And this time round, I had a family to feed.
It was a combination of faith, family and friends that helped us the second time around. My wife and I sat down and had a truly heart-to-heart talk. We knew that there was only ONE way out of this. We HAD to take control of our destiny. Not knowing how or what to do, we prayed. In the coming days, we came to a decision that was to change our very lives.
We always talked about starting our own small business. One that we could run together as we raised our children. We were (and still are) multi talented. My wife is a great mother, wonderful with kids, very creative and artistic and got along very easily with people. I shared the same qualities as my wife plus I was good at web and tech. So with ALL this talent and abilities, what was it that kept us from soaring into the skies of success?
The answer was - you guessed it - our minds.
We had been brought up the conventional way. Like our parents (and their parents), we studied hard, got a job and worked hard to make ends meet. Nobody every taught us that the world was booby trapped with unemployment and financial hurdles. And so we were not prepared at the prospect of losing our jobs.
Anyway, back to our decision. We knew that we had to break free of our dependence on our salaries. We HAD to work for ourselves. We bounced around many ideas but eventually, we decided that the ONE skill we could count on that we were confident of making a living at was my wife’s cooking. And so we decided to start our own home based food delivery business.
Now after we made the decision to start our own food delivery business, our minds retreated into their own comfort zones and threw up ALL sorts of excuses NOT to do it. Suddenly, the fear of the unknown made us unsure of ourselves. We questioned whether we had the skills, the knowledge and even the aptitude to run our own business. We doubted whether we could raise the funds to start our own business even before we sat down and did the math. We questioned whether there was a market for our services even though we KNEW there was. We kept asking ourselves “what if this happened” or “what if that happened|.
We had encountered our first hurdle - our minds. Our minds kept us from jumping head long into our business for another six months with all sorts of fears and doubts.
However, things began to get really bad for me in the office. Colleagues were getting 24-hour notices to leave. The job-cuts were happening daily. It was a do or die situation. My wife and I held hands, and said “this is it. We jump into the water now - ready or not.”
Not knowing what to do or how to go about starting our own home business, we make mistakes. Lots of mistakes. But I think what kept us going was faith God and each other. I also think the fear of going back to our salaried existence kept us working hard.
Was it easy? NO.
The first year, EVERY decision was difficult. EVERY step was laborious, because we were not experienced. The fear of failure made decisions very difficult. My wife found it difficult adjusting to being the driving force in a business that was to be our family’s main livelihood. I found it difficult breaking free of my comfort zone as a corporate executive and deliverying food door to door. I was embarrassed - plain and simple. At the back of my mind, I was feeling sorry for myself - going from door to door delivering food was not my idea of being successful. But it kept food on the table.
It took lots of getting used to. My own perception changed when my friends started patting me on the back, admiring how we took the bold step of going it on our own.
These comments from my friends made it clear to me. My mind was stuck in “conventional” mode. I had to break free of the stranglehold my mind had on me.
Five years later, my wife and I are at ease with our business. We don’t struggle with decisions any more. The ebb and flow of business has made us resilient. Sure, we face tough times every now and then, but the difference now is we’ve jumped the biggest hurdle - our minds.
So if you’re at that first and frightening step of considering being your own boss, watch out for that first hurdle - your mind. It’s a real doozy!
In this series :
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